Five Truths
As a foster-adoptive mom, I raise kids that come from hard places. Though prior to becoming a parent I was well versed in the system and what it meant to care for kids who, of no fault of their own, landed within it-I was unprepared. You see, trauma rears it’s head in ways that I never truly understood until I lived it.
Some days I still don’t understand. Even though I’ve been at this for over a decade, sometimes the hurt and the longing and the insecurity cuts me to the quick. It can be hard to remember not to take things personally. That the rages aren’t meant for me-they come for a place of wounding that is so deep, words cannot yet be given to it.
Through this, we have done the best we can. And often fall short. That’s the problem with humans-we’re human. And as my brother once told me, people are messy. So each day we get up, with new mercies, and we try again.
Two years ago I had hoped I had found one tiny way to help encourage one of our kids. My hope was to instill the basic things that I grew up with and, quite honestly, took for granted. I called it his five truths. Small letters than when put together make mighty words. Words he could go back to when the weight of this world was laying lies upon his heart. I called it his five truths, and I had him repeat after me until he had memorized them.
1. I am chosen.
2. I am wanted.
3. I am loved.
4. I am forgiven.
5. I am redeemed.
When I could see the anger rising, I would ask him his truths. I would flash five fingers at him to que his memory in a room full of people. I spoke it over him as he would rage in my arms-kicking and screaming for hours until exhaustion kicked in.
Over this last year, we lived through things I could never imagine. Hope has seemed lost and I’ve asked others to hold it me, because I am too weary. Each day we go through the motion and through this advent season I pray the sweet words over our family: hope, peace, love and joy.
Tonight, we lit the candle of joy and for the first time in so long, that small glimmer of hope also flashed. You see, we watched a movie this evening, one that I had those mama hopes for: that it would instill some good thoughts. That they would see positive examples. That maybe deep down there is a message that might resonate with them. The move was called Overcomer, and oh friends-did it speak truth! Specifically-our five truths, and more. Written down by the hands of the sweet young girl who needed them. Loved. Chosen. Redeemed. Forgiven. Wanted. Even adopted. Because His word does not come back void, and sometimes he throws things in there for good measure.
As the words flashed across the screen, this child with years of hurt would look back to me and smile. Because he knew that those truths are real. They are not just words spoken from a mama out of desperation and a flimsy hope. They are words of strength and defining power. They are real.
And for me-it was a sweet conformation. His words will not return void. And the seeds we plant are not in vain. Someday, the harvest will come. It may take years, and we may not see in the time we walk this earth, but it will come.
So take heart, friends. You are wanted. You are chosen. You are loved. You are forgiven. You are redeemed.
All my love,
M
Some days I still don’t understand. Even though I’ve been at this for over a decade, sometimes the hurt and the longing and the insecurity cuts me to the quick. It can be hard to remember not to take things personally. That the rages aren’t meant for me-they come for a place of wounding that is so deep, words cannot yet be given to it.
Through this, we have done the best we can. And often fall short. That’s the problem with humans-we’re human. And as my brother once told me, people are messy. So each day we get up, with new mercies, and we try again.
Two years ago I had hoped I had found one tiny way to help encourage one of our kids. My hope was to instill the basic things that I grew up with and, quite honestly, took for granted. I called it his five truths. Small letters than when put together make mighty words. Words he could go back to when the weight of this world was laying lies upon his heart. I called it his five truths, and I had him repeat after me until he had memorized them.
1. I am chosen.
2. I am wanted.
3. I am loved.
4. I am forgiven.
5. I am redeemed.
When I could see the anger rising, I would ask him his truths. I would flash five fingers at him to que his memory in a room full of people. I spoke it over him as he would rage in my arms-kicking and screaming for hours until exhaustion kicked in.
Over this last year, we lived through things I could never imagine. Hope has seemed lost and I’ve asked others to hold it me, because I am too weary. Each day we go through the motion and through this advent season I pray the sweet words over our family: hope, peace, love and joy.
Tonight, we lit the candle of joy and for the first time in so long, that small glimmer of hope also flashed. You see, we watched a movie this evening, one that I had those mama hopes for: that it would instill some good thoughts. That they would see positive examples. That maybe deep down there is a message that might resonate with them. The move was called Overcomer, and oh friends-did it speak truth! Specifically-our five truths, and more. Written down by the hands of the sweet young girl who needed them. Loved. Chosen. Redeemed. Forgiven. Wanted. Even adopted. Because His word does not come back void, and sometimes he throws things in there for good measure.
As the words flashed across the screen, this child with years of hurt would look back to me and smile. Because he knew that those truths are real. They are not just words spoken from a mama out of desperation and a flimsy hope. They are words of strength and defining power. They are real.
And for me-it was a sweet conformation. His words will not return void. And the seeds we plant are not in vain. Someday, the harvest will come. It may take years, and we may not see in the time we walk this earth, but it will come.
So take heart, friends. You are wanted. You are chosen. You are loved. You are forgiven. You are redeemed.
All my love,
M
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